It's kind of like dating. But it isn't.

(FYI: I took no special pictures for this post, nor did I scour the internet for appropriate images.  Thanks to my friends and family for having adorable pets.)

Ten days into "No Superfluous Web Browsing" month and I’ve only logged onto Facebook once, entirely by accident—you’re a hard, hard habit to break, Facebook.  As soon as I saw my feed pop up and realized my mistake, I logged out IMMEDIATELY, I swear.  I know I’m not missing anything *too* crucial, because I set it up so I get an email for any messages to me, any events, and any notes or tags (I’m on to you, QH).  But I do kind of miss it.  I feel a little out of the loop.  So I’m trying to redouble my efforts to add more connection to friends outside the social media universe and that’s proving to be a little, how should I say it, humbling…?

Look at that humble face! (Friends' dog)

I’ve never been nuts about the phone.  It isn’t like I hate the phone, but I get nervous calling people.  When I call someone, I feel ridiculously vulnerable and exposed and a tiny bit desperate.  It’s kind of like when you’ve started dating someone awesome, and you want to see him (or her for those who prefer to date hers) again and soon, but you’re afraid that if you ask him to come over for dinner tomorrow night after seeing him last night, he might think that’s too much, too soon, weird or whatever.  Then you might start to feel BAD for wanting to see him again and soon, and you’d have to call your best friend to have her remind you that you aren’t LESS THAN, and there’s nothing wrong with you, that this guy is just a douche.  With all of this fear, you may end up waiting a whole week or two before asking him to come over for dinner, by which time, he may have been on a date or three with another woman with a better paying job and skinnier thighs than you.  So what’s the point of even dating him in the first place when you’re just going to end up feeling vulnerable, exposed, and a tiny bit (or A LOT) desperate?

(For the record, the above does not reflect any particular dating experience of the author’s.  It is a random compilation of many dating experiences of the author.  Except for the skinnier thighs bit.  That’s just a hunch.)

What I’m trying to say is it is scary to pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time!  So scary that I’ve been sending emails to friends, asking them if it would be alright with them if I call them in the next few weeks.  And if they don’t have time for a phone call, it is okay, I understand.

"I'll just lie here and wait for your reply." (Relatives' dog.)

 Let me point out two things about this:

1. Obviously, I have no fear about exposing my vulnerabilities and desperation in print. 
2. These are honest-to-God friends of mine, and I’m asking for their approval to make the friendly gesture of calling them.

 Good grief.  Note to self: get over the nerves and call these people already!!!  They like you and you like them.  

"Quit your whining and get over it." (Parental units' feline)

Facebook has made it so flipping easy to stay connected without connecting at all.  I have no fear at all about “liking” or chiming in with a comment on a friend’s status, even if I haven’t seen or spoken to that friend for over 15 years.  Who needs to actually exchange phone numbers, mailing addresses and email addresses when you can just post a link to their Wall?  There’s almost no rejection possible with Facebook, past the initial friend request.

(Though there are slights, but it’s easy to dismiss many of them as Facebook-overwhelm accidents.  “I didn’t invite/tag you?  I’m so sorry, scouring through 582 friends is no easy task!”)

"So I didn't tag you.  What's the big effin' deal?" (Another friend's dog.)

Anyway, there is another thing I’ve discovered through my attempts to email friends so I may call them: I don’t have a working email address for over half of them.  So if I don’t have a phone number for you, I don’t know how I’m going to get either without using Facebook.  Or needling one of our friends-in-common to check your FB info page for your contact info.

"I have better things to do than your Facebook dirty work." (My landlady's dog.)

Prognosis: maybe Facebook has made it easier to keep in touch with old friends, but it hasn’t made it easier to actually connect with old friends.

But I am steadily contacting people and doing my best not to browse on the internet more than I’ve allotted myself.  Not that I don’t forget and lose track of time now and then.  This challenge is definitely trickier in terms of logistics than some of my other challenges, like “No caffeine, period” month.  

"What's so tricky about not wasting time online? Sleep more." (Another cat o' parents.)

HOWEVER, if I hadn’t slipped up a little bit, I wouldn’t have this piece to share with you today.  As a writer and an internet junkie, I so relate.  Enjoy!